


Necessary Evil

by DanyDamn



Series: A Jack of All Trades [2]
Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Age Difference, Anger, Consensual But Not Safe Or Sane, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Female Reader, Fights, Handsome Jack - Freeform, Hate Sex, Hurt, Insanity, Madness, Male Masturbation, Masturbation, NSFW, Out of Character, Plot, Porn, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Reader-Insert, Revenge Sex, Rough Sex, Sad, Sex, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Strong Language, Vaginal Sex, Violence, male/female - Freeform, mild AU, reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-27 20:33:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12590016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanyDamn/pseuds/DanyDamn
Summary: You weren't superstitious, but even you believed in a little something called Murphy's law.And yet you never expected this, a plan gone wrong and a man with questionable intentions.Oh yeah, you were just having a blast here.





	1. 0.1

One last gig. That was all it was supposed to be. Just one final job doing what the two of you did best and you and Vector would off this godforsaken rock of insanity and death and to the space beyond. Just hijack the vehicle, intimidate the victims of their cash, dump them in the Skag pit and board the next ship to see the stars and the galaxy in which they inhabited. That was it, that was all you had to do. Simple and to the point, like always. 

So why did it end so disastrously?

First of all, the vehicle coming towards the both of you was supposed to be a bus. A grand, old, beat up piece of metal easy to take control of. The people inhabiting that bus were supposed to be fat, rich tourists, unable to run and fight back. Those tourists were supposed to be loaded with cash and void of any single piece of weaponry, a simple easy job.

Instead, the bus was in fact a clutch of buggies. The tourists were actually party of loader bots. Big, yellow, menacing clunkers, outfitted for practically war and not a single hint of money present in the presence of these dumb, metal guards. 

Oh yeah, and not to mention Handsome Jack at the head wheel crying out like a psycho bandit(which was oddly fitting considering his own insane personality) as if he belonged here, despite this being entirely not the kind of environment you’d find the dictator of Hyperion in. 

“Goddammit Vec, where are the tourists? Where is the moderately armed but easy overtake-able bus? Where’s the cash!? Show me the cash and how we could possibly get it here!”  
The male beside you scrambled for the answers of the questions you whacked him with, also disbelieved at the sight before him. With drastically lowered brows, the brunet fiddled with the Echo device in his hand, once again scanning the info on the screen the contact had provided you with after an evening of prying.

Vector shook his head and smacked his cheek. “Mussle must have given me bad info.” He growled, eyes flickering between the screen and the oncoming party of guns. “That sleazy ball of Rakk shit, I knew I should have left the persuasion to you. They always do the wrong whenever I take control.” 

“Every single damn time, this happens.” You sigh greatly between clenched teeth. “Do you not see a pattern here? Whenever I leave the persuasion to you this happens.” You gesture at the sand billowing in your direction from the war party coming on a crash course. “You think it might be a time for change, here?”

“I know, I know, I messed up, I’m sorry! But we can’t just sit and argue about that here, you can bite my head off in the later hate sex, right now we gotta figure out a plan to deal with all this.”

“Deal with all this? Vec, we’ve gotta fuckin’ run! No question about it, those loader bots are top model, that securty is heavily armed and that’s Handsome goddamn Jack at the helm! The hate sex can’t happen unless we’re alive, you know!”

Vector shook his head again, turning towards you. “But what if we can? I mean sure, we’re prepared for a bus of unsuspecting tourists, but instead we’ve got an unsuspecting Jack.” He cocked a brow with a considering face, and you almost lifted a finger to stop the train of thought he seemed to be grabbing onto."Whatever we would make with the rich bastards we can make threefold with him. He’s like the king of the rich bastards! He’s probably got an Echo with him that’ll give us straight access to his dough. And if not, just imagine what we could make just ransoming him off!”

You had to make a face before shaking your head back at him. “I don’t think we can do that, Vec. That’s a group of guns and warfare coming at us and we’re just a couple grenades and three pistols and one automatic. I don’t think we can do it.” 

“No but we totally can,” The male said, a smile growing over his rugged features as his hand clamped over either sides of your arms. You hated when he got ideas like this, but they were usually genius and you’d yet to say no. “We’ve taken down worse, don’t you see? Remember the party of psychos? The lake village of minis? That _valley_ of Varkids? From all that experience, Jack and these bots should be a breeze! Just imagine, we take this guy down and there won't be a need for hate sex cuz we're too busy with excited sex while we roll around in our endless cash on that ship out of here.”

He had a point there. If you pulled this off, the two of you would be set for life, even more so than you had originally planned with the fat tourists. And you had to admit it was a very, _very_ tempting thought. Almost too much so to say no.

And yet, you had to wonder; what exactly was Handsome Jack, CEO of the multi-billion dollar corporation Hyperion, doing down in the dumps of Pandora instead of living the lavish lifestyle up at the space station Helios?

Releasing a deep sigh you shrugged his hands off your arms and gave a reluctant nod. "Fine, we'll continue with this new plan. But--" You threw up a finger in warning. "--As soon as things get dicey, we're off, got it?"

"Roger," Vector agreed with a toothy grin, and swooped down to catch you into a brief, heated kiss. "I promise you," He said as he quickly retreated. "we are going to get through this like a breeze and spend the rest of our lived getting fat from alcohol and working off the weight with all the sex we're going to have."

You rolled your eyes and leaned further into the outcropping of sandstone as the moment to strike against the approaching party neared. "Yeah, right, as if we don't have enough of it as is."

"No such thing as too much sex," The male beside you stated, peering at the target through a bronzed, collapsible telescope. "As long as the spirit is willing, the flesh will remain intact."

You snorted, pulling a dusty, navy scarf over your mouth and a pair of goggles over your eyes. "I don't think that's how the quote goes." You almost decided to forgo your stiff brim hat but decided against it. The thing was old but your lucky charm, proven useful before and would have no use just sitting in silence while you fought for your future. In all likeliness it would be a part of that future.

"Doesn't matter. The old one didn't apply to our situation." The male beside you quipped, tying his own scarf over his mouth but using a pair of shades in places of goggles. 

Behind your goggles you rolled your eyes. "Whatever, Vec. When do I gotta do the thing."

"Precisely 14 seconds." He replied, all the banter from earlier dispersing into the appropriate demeanor for the shit the two of you were about to pull. "You got the contact grenade?"

You nodded, pulling the said explosive from your pouch and bouncing it in your hand once. "Right here, ready to go."

"You remember where to throw it, right?"

You scoff. "No, cuz I've totally forgotten all the rehearsing we've done for this gig."

"Just making sure. Okay, ready? 4.. 3.. 2.. now!"

With a heave the grenade went flying. As soon as it left your grip your hands shot down to where you pulled out two identical, silver pistols from their sheathes strapped around your thighs, and emerged from the outcropping just as you heard an explosion. You and Vector were down the hill and shooting left and right almost instantly, back to back and in sync. 

The both of you were so used to doing this sort of thing. Despite the inhibition held for this particular hustle, you were at no loss on how to fight and shoot a gun. Grenades flew, bullets whistled, robotic voices echoed down the small canyon and you and Vector seemed to be winning.

However, even though it felt like you had the upper hand, as you shot the beady, red eyes of two loader bots simultaneously, you felt a distinct nagging at the back of your head. The nagging you hated to hear because it was always right, no matter the situation, no matter the circumstance. A mysterious intuition you could never explain, but 99.99% reliable most of the time. 

But instead of listening to it like you should have been, you only pushed the voice down into the depths of your mind, drowning it with bullets and another more excited voice that was listing out the possibilities of benefits should this mission of yours turn out victorious on your end. You we're already too deep into its commitment to let yourself be distracted by petty doubts. 

"Vec, on your right!" You called through your scarf, immediately sensing the man only several feet away from you turn and unleash his automatic on the poor soul that dared get in the way of your future. 

However, what you had failed to notice that Handsome Jack was, in fact, the poor soul that stood to Vec's right. And once you noticed him, only then noticed that the bullets shot from your partner's gun we're doing nothing to him. In place of the holes that should have been in his jacket were the distinct, glitchy blocks of a disturbed digistructed body.

Behind your goggles your eyes widened in horror and realization as Jack's body fell down and disappeared, leaving the bloody mass of an entirely different being to be viewed upon by the two horrified hustlers. 

In that moment the smoke seemed to clear a laughter, accompanied by clapping, filled that little canyon. 

"Ahahaaha, loader bots restrain them." 

In your moment of weakness, you and Vector had almost entirely forgotten the battle, and in a second found yourselves at the mercy of the bots, void of your weapons as well as the hopes you had for this mission. You struggled, you kicked and yelled and punched, but metal was stronger than flesh and you and Vector no longer had that upper hand you thought you did.

 _I should have listened to the voice I should have listened to the voice I should have listened to the voice,_ you chanted in your head, angrily and almost desperately as if there was a chance you could resolved the situation. But it was far too late for that, and you were never one for prayer. 

"I have to admit, you two," Came the same voice that obviously belonged to the real Jack, a moving image on the screen projected by one of the bots. "You pulled some ballsy shit back there. Not smart, no, that was actually quite a dumb thing to do, but ballsy nonetheless." The amused male said with a shake of his head and another laugh. "And, of course, you failed, cuz, you know, you're idiots, but hey, I don't judge. I mean, just look at you, you've sorely lost-- well, whatever this was supposed to be. Was there an actual plan here or did you just jump in and hope for the best?" 

In an attempt to get the two of you to speak, the male instructed the bots to remove your facial gear, and off came the scarves, eye wear and even your hat. Some black hairs fell over your eyes as you only frowned deeply at the screen projected in front of you. "Nothing you deserve hearing about," you spat, seeing a jerk from Vector from the corner of your eye.

"Ooh, feisty." Jack stated with a bite of his lip as he leaned towards the screen to peer at her. "I like feisty."

You saw Vector jerk again. "Fuck off, mate." 

Jack only lifted a brow and pursed his lips at the other male, observing him. "Nah, sorry man, don't like that kind. Not into you. Anyways," He then said, leaning away from the screen and placing his hands on his hips. "Now what do I do with my two new prisoners? Hmm, should I have you guys burned? Thrown into the famous Skag pit? Give you to the bandits? Decisions, decision."

As the male tapped a finger against the metal goatee of his mask, Vector struggled again and managed to jerk free of an apparently incompetent loader bot, and took a hidden pistol to shook the eye of the bot that held you. Jack only raised a brow as you swept away from the bot and slipped a knife from your sleeve. 

"Interesting couple. No wonder the two of you thought it was a good idea to take on a party of bots and a fake me." Despite his words the dictator only laughed at them. "But whatever," He said, calming and shrugged. "Do what you like, it's pointless anyways. You'll never win. Bots, kill him and bring her to Helios."

A look of horror fell over your eyes as you reeled from the command, preparing yourself for battle. When the screen flickered off, the remaining bots had already surrounded them and two shots from different guns rang through the air.


	2. 0.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Self love is important

It ended so disastrously because it was rushed, poorly planned and stupid, that’s why. There was no other explanation. If the right information was given, if the right things happened and the right moves made, maybe you’d have gotten a different path and would currently be engaging erratically in an act of sex on top of a giant pile money like you were promised.

Instead you were sitting in a holding cell of the Helios jail, staring at an unnaturally clean wall and unmoving, a prisoner of the infamous Handsome Jack with unpleasant prospects to come.

You didn’t cry, you weren’t one for that. Not even for Vector, who was now nothing more than a dismantled corpse on the dead ground of Pandora, feed for the Skags and the psycho bandits. He wasn’t getting tears from you, he was nothing special, nothing really was.

If anything, the only thing he deserved from you was your anger for being so careless and your pity for having it all end so soon. And even though you held no desire to have these feelings for the man you’d just spent a three-year anniversary with, you still weren’t going to cry. 

It was pointless. It wouldn’t resolve this problem, nor would it bring him back. So why bother? 

Still, he did what he promised. He got you off Pandora, didn’t he? Perhaps not in the way you were hoping, but in the end the basics of what you wanted to do was fulfilled. He got you off the planet.

“Ah, cupcake, glad to see you’ve settled in. How’s my favorite little hustler doing?” 

On the other side of the translucent laser shield Handsome Jack emerged with a dumb grin on his face and the obvious implication that he was there with a lack of good intentions. You could see him from the corner of your eye but refused to look directly at him, keeping your gaze at the wall while you sat unmoving in your cold chamber. 

“Aw, you don’t feel like talking kitten? I mean, I guess I can understand that, I did just kill your boyfriend.” He bounced on his heels like a child waiting to be handed a piece of candy, obviously hoping for that candy to be your response or possibly even a reaction that he could find amusement in.

Despite not wanting to, a set of words left your lips. “He wasn’t my boyfriend.”

And he wasn’t. Vector was your partner, an old friend, not a lover. At least, not in that specific way. The three-year anniversary you celebrated had been for the fact of the two of you having successfully survived another thousand days on the godforsaken planet currently below you. Sure, the two of you had been involved in many intimate moments and acts of pleasure, but those had been for the sake of keeping each other sane. 

It was a pact you’d made not a lot of time ago, that you’d be there for each other when either of you got needy. It was a rather sweet deal, and you both benefited greatly from it, but that was all it was, a deal. No feelings, not attachments, just plain sex. 

Not saying that it wasn’t good sex, but regardless. 

“Ah, so you’re on the market then, are you?” Jack asked leaning towards the shield as if he actually considered you to be something date-able.

“Not hardly.” You quipped, feeling your legs begin to tire the way you sat. “At least not for the likes of you.”

Jack’s lips broke open and he mildly threw his head back in a laugh. “You keep telling yourself that, princess because everybody always says the same thing before they come crawling to me on their hands and knees. I don’t think you’ll be any different.”

“Oh yeah? Try me.” 

You hadn’t wasted a breath, and it wasn’t lost on the male on the other side of the cell the challenge you just presented. 

He bobbed his head. “Accepted.” 

Only then realizing what you had done your head whirled to the door only to find it bereft of the company you were hoping to deter. 

“Aw, fuck.” You said simply, letting your legs grow slack as you now sat almost limp, staring at the wall of laser. 

If what you thought happened really did happen then you were about ready to jump ship. The implication of Handsome Jack attempting to woo you or worse was almost too much to think about. Why the man even took such a challenge was beyond you, but knowing he might be making some unwanted advances on you was enough to make you want to find your pistols and blow the brains from your head.

Another thing you found yourself questioning was why he so quickly took the job. You were, after all, just some dirty citizen of Pandora bent on resolving disputes with a gun. Not exactly his type. 

“Maybe he’s used up all the good tail on this station and is desperate to find new meat. S’probably why he had me brought up here.” You mumbled with a faint snort, scooting backwards until you hit the wall and were able to rest your head. “Knowing the likes of him he’s looking for anything to get laid.”

 

You would’ve never have guessed how right you were on that assumption.

Handsome Jack was indeed desperate, but under some slightly different circumstances.

The root of the problem was the initial dilemma of there not actually being enough women on Hyperion in the first place. Well, at least, not enough attractive women, according to the CEO’s personal standards. Some women were pretty, sure, but not up to what he was willing to fraternize with. 

And those that fit the bill well enough, it seemed he’d already went through them and got bored quickly enough. There was only so much a hot code worker or assistant or secretary could do, especially the non-adventurous type that weren’t willing to do more than the works in terms of sexual encounters.

Of course, being Jack, he could always force them into doing what he liked, but trying new things with someone who wasn’t into it just wasn’t fun, so instead they were dumped, and he was back to taking care of himself. 

Which, after all this time, was starting to get really fucking old.

So of course, with the addition of this crazy Pandoran girl, Handsome Jack was indeed considering doing some things with her. It was driving him nuts how long it had been since he last got laid, making his involvement with you into something other than just his prisoner. If things went as planned, you’d be much more than that soon enough. 

Entering his office and falling into that famous saffron yellow chair, Handsome Jack rung up his secretary. 

“Polly can you make sure I don’t get interrupted and tell the staff that if anybody does I’m going to shove a grenade up their ass, thanks doll.” 

He didn’t wait for a response, he never did. His secretary never questioned his commands and intentions and just did what she was told, leaving him to his own devices while she took some time off for a coffee break, knowing exactly what he did when he was alone and frankly not wanting to be nearby when he did it. 

Jack really didn’t care if people knew that he liked to take these sorts of times to take care of an itching need. He just really didn’t like to be disturbed halfway through it and lose his focus, among other things. Buzzkills were by far the worst sort of kills, same in the sense that his gun was out, and his promises fulfilled when such happenings occurred. So, he always issued a state of silence in which the base minded its own damn business and left him to do his thing. 

Leaning back and slouching in the chair to get comfortable, he let his legs part naturally and closed his eyes in an attempt to envision something that could stimulate the mild hard-on he’d already been sporting then. 

Handsome Jack was in no way a man incapable of keeping his dick in his pants, but sometimes, on rare occasions in which he hadn’t filled his sexual satisfaction bar (like now, for instance), the smallest things gave him a rather uncomfortable and annoying rager. Naturally, it was a love/hate sort of thing when it came to how he felt about it, but with nothing to satisfy his unruly urges he had no choice but to deal with it as best as his own two hands would let him. In this case, what set him off so quickly was the aspect of a certain woman imprisoned about a hundred levels below with a personality that could easily be envisioned in a steamy situation in which he and her battled for dominance.

Nothing got him harder than a woman (or the thought of a woman, in this case) that could keep up with his sex drive and even challenged it. Today you were that woman, a rather adventurous type, stubborn but decisive, a leader capable of taking risks, and although Jack had yet to fully know exactly the type of person you were, his dick found you to be a rather arousing figure. 

If anything, it was annoying and almost frustrating how quickly he’d taken you into his thoughts, a girl he’d barely met and only briefly spoke to. But, that wasn’t saying he resent the idea. In fact, when he mentioned that he liked feisty back at the canyon, it was then that he first imagined what you’d be like with your clothes off. 

And so, to take care of himself so he could get on with his day, you were the subject of his thoughts on this occasion.

Unfortunately, with all that gear you liked to wear, it wasn’t easy trying to imagine what your body was like underneath all the leather and straps. Shapely, no question, but still hard to know for sure and exact. This brought him to instead imagine more on the aspect of how the two of you would do the dirty, shameless positions and kinks and experiments fit into different circumstances in which you’d find yourselves.

It wasn’t long that he had his stiff out and in his hand while his eyes remained closed. He’d drawn his lip between his teeth, palming his hardened flesh while he ran his thumb over the tip and spreading the thick, unmistakable evidence of his arousal to use as a lubricant as he wasn’t in the mood to find the regular stuff. 

Far too early to do any groaning, the currently incapacitated male made a sound just short of that, perhaps a manlier version of a whimper because Handsome Jack was nothing if not a dominantly masculine figure and wouldn’t let anyone think otherwise, despite being the only one in the room at that moment. 

In his thoughts you were the center of attention and absolutely everywhere. On top of him, beneath him, parallel to him and even adjacent, moaning and calling his name, bouncing and grinding and trying some rather dubious things. Not that he was complaining, of course, Jack had his fair share of questionable interests, and it was probably through those that he was associating you with these. Everything was, of course, all in his head. If anything, it excited him more the thought that you could be remotely similar to him in ways of devious sexual tastes. 

Whether that was actually the case with you he didn’t know, but for now, as long as it seemed like things you would do, he could care less.

In that moment he had sat up straighter in his chair and even leaned over slightly, his hand stroking along the entire length of his erection at a mildly erratic pace, but his eyes remained closed. He was getting rather close now, having spent quite a long time building his arousal up and bringing himself to this point, eager to finish. 

Soon, that finish came to fruition, and with a grunt the older male grunted leaning back against his chair as a thick, white liquid spurt from him, leaving a wandering trail on his desk, floor and even clothes. 

Tipping his head to the ceiling while his hands lie on the armrests, Jack the rode off the rest of his high, twitching faintly while his hardness slowly softened. 

“Goddamn,” He murmured, swallowing thickly. “I need to get this damn thing under control, it’s getting out of hand.”

As soon as he closed his mouth he snorted at the unintended joke, back on his feet again as a small bot emerged from beneath his desk to clean the mess while he fixed himself up and made his way out of his office. 

With that finally out of way, he could go and actually be able take care of some business now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, got some sin up in this bitch. First of many, hopefully.
> 
> Also, don't mind any misspellings or confusing and/or unorganized spots, I don't have patience to review every little detail of the chapters, lol. I do my best mind you, but its hard.
> 
> Thanks guys!


	3. 0.3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget your hat

It was fortunate for you that the security of Helios wasn’t a very competent bunch, almost purposefully sluggish and generally blasé about everything around them. It made it so much easier for you to cook up an escape plan without the fear of being watched for suspicious activity. It would probably be just as easy to carry out that plan and make it out of here mainly unscathed if it weren’t for the fact that the place was practically crawling with them.

Granted, turrets mounted in almost every corner of the station were the real security here, these uncouth and over-armored figures being the horses to the herders that were the turrets in herding the cattle that was Helios staff. Now those were what worried you most about your getaway plan. If they were as resolute as you thought, it might’ve instead put a damper on your hopes to get out as compared to how you felt about the men sitting around at the end of the hallway of holding cells. 

Not to mention that you weren’t exactly the first person imprisoned here, so they were most likely comfortable and more than capable of dealing with any prisoner that had before attempted to escape. 

You just really hoped they weren’t familiar with the shit you personally were going to pull. 

When it came to your plan, one initial thought began, and the rest followed.

Helios didn’t exactly let their prisoners starve. That was either due to needing them for specific reasons or Handsome Jack just liked to keep them alive for his own torturing benefit, so obviously there was some way food was delivered to them. 

Initial observation told you there was no automated system for that, which meant food was most likely delivered in person. And since the laser shields sealing the prisoners in didn’t exactly have a specific slot in which the food could reach them, the shield would likely be taken down for the delivery. If so, this meant the person bringing the food would be accompanied by an armed guard to keep the imprisoned from attacking, making that only two people between you and your escape from the cell.

If all went according to your speculative plan, you would soon be on your way off this damn station. While you had yet to figure out where to go after leaving this little square room so graciously given to you, you were happy knowing you could be out in the near future. Besides, you’d figure it out, you always did. 

All that was left now was hope that the person delivering the food was a female. And your size. 

It was a long shot but the only one you had at this point. 

As both a good thing and bad thing, it was several hours before you even got a hint that your speculations proved to be somewhat right. It was good in the sense that it gave you time to smooth out some kinks in your plan, but bad in the sense that it made you increasingly paranoid, surmising that security or even Jack knew about what you were going to do and kept the window of opportunity away from you so you couldn’t go through with it.

But you knew you were being irrational as it wouldn’t make any sense if they had in fact found out your plans, an impossible theory since you’d planned the entire thing in your head. So, shaking it off you instead mildly paced your small cell while you waited for that window of opportunity to arrive. 

When you finally did get a clue that you were nearing your time to strike, you had oddly-enough gone on a tangent in your head over the wonder why the damn cells didn’t have actual windows, cuz it sucked.

Granted, cells like these we’re never built for comfort or to have any redeeming features because—well, they were for criminals. But still, you’d think someone who would spend a portion of their lives here would be allowed at least a small opening in these monochrome walls to peer into the beauty of space beyond. 

Whatever, it didn’t matter anymore. As you heard a set of footfalls, metallic and otherwise, echoing faintly down the corridor, you had a feeling soon you wouldn’t have to worry about windows when you were so close to getting outside as it was. 

Patiently you waited, hearing the footfalls near with every sound confirming that shields we’re being deactivated in cells opposite of each other once at a time. While you definitely had your fears and inhibitions for the success of this wildly ambitious plan, didn’t doubt for a second you’d fight tooth and nail just to get out of there. So, when you heard your neighbor’s door come down, slipped a toothed knife from the back of your pants and readied yourself by standing nonchalantly to the side while you could see two figures and a cart roll up to your cell. 

You had one chance and you damn well weren’t going to screw it up.

When the shield was lowered, a typical Helios security lackey dressed in gaudy yellow gear lifted a similarly colored gun with both hands at you while a fairly small woman slipped a key card through a slot in the cart and out popped a square plate with some undetermined mush meant to be sustenance. You pretended to look harmless and hungry, eyeing the food, even as it grossed you out, while simultaneously observing the two people who seemed totally unfazed by your presence. If you could see behind the tinted visor of the guard’s ugly yellow helmet, you’d think he’d be bored, as if he was willing to do absolutely anything but this.

Luckily for him, you were going to give him just that. 

When the deliverer stepped into the cell, waiting for a hidden table to pop from the wall so she could set down the food, she paid no mind to you, making it all the more easier for you to lunge forward and grab her, knife at her neck while you used her body as a shield against the armed guard. 

“Either of you make a sound, I’ll slit her neck.” You threatened, the food discarded and the air tense. 

The guard in the corridor had perked up and straightened his gun at you, but a look of hesitation passed over his eyes. Well, you couldn’t actually see his eyes due to the darkened visor, but his demeanor definitely changed when he realized the woman’s life was in danger. Whether there was something between the both of them you couldn’t tell, but it would’ve definitely made this a whole bunch easier. 

“Into the cell, now. And drop the gun, quietly.” You commanded, pressing the knife harder against the woman’s neck as you took a couple steps backwards to make room for him.

The guard hesitated but it didn’t take him long to lower his firearm and let it silently clatter against the metal grating of the floor before slowly stepping into the cell, palms up to mean you no harm. Once he was safely inside your free hand came up to tear the helmet off his head, only to chop him with it and watch him crumple to the ground unconscious.

The woman against your knife made a move to cry out but only dug the blade harder into her neck, drawing some blood. She hissed in pain and ceased struggling just before you lifted the butt of your knife and put her into a similar state as the guard.

You sighed a somewhat relieved breath as you looked at the two poor souls on the ground. They probably didn’t deserve all that, but you weren’t left with much of a choice. Well, the tense part was over. Now came the hard part. 

While the woman seemed to sport similar features to you, the dark hair and tanned skin and even a miraculously exact shoe size, she was unfortunately a fair bit smaller than you. By some miracle, however, you managed to fit her clothing over your body, albeit in a struggle. Some of the things you we’re barely able to clothe yourself with was an extremely tight, grey pencil skirt paired with a snug yellow turtleneck and a confining navy blazer with the blocky letters of ‘Hyperion’ sewn into the left breast pocket. 

By the time you managed to set yourself straight, slipping into the black heels and sporting the set of matching glasses over your nose, you imagined you looked pretty unrecognizable. You also decided to do something with your hair, twisting it into a tail and tying it at the nape of your neck. 

Yup, you probably looked nothing like yourself. That was fine. It was for the good of your survival. 

When you finally managed to get to the next step of your plan, dressing the female with your old gear and heaving the unconscious guard onto the food cart, quite some time had passed. Of course, that was due to all the dressing and undressing and wondering where you could possibly hide weapons on you with such an unforgiving set of clothing, but it didn’t take long before you began to feel like you might have been pushing your luck. If you didn’t get a move on quickly, either other guards would come across the scene or the other cellmates would start getting impatient about the food thing. You needed to be out of there before any of that happened. 

You had some doubts about leaving most of your gear, though, all the many articles you’d gathered throughout the years to make the grey, blue, navy and black ensemble that you were no longer wearing being something you weren’t too fond of leaving behind. But it was necessary. For your escape, of course. You could probably buy yourself something better once you were off this station, anyways.

Except for your hat. The dark cobalt stiff brim was far too close in sentiment to be left behind, so you stuffed it beneath the guard on the cart and made a mental note not to forget it.

Finally, after putting the woman that was dressed like you (almost passing as a clone of you, remarkably) into a sleeping position to give the illusion that you’d never left the cell and cleaning up the food that had been discarded on the floor, you’d taken the key card from earlier and activated the cell shield. 

Heaving the cart, you began the next step of your plan; taking this unconscious guard and tying him up somewhere where he wouldn’t disrupt the rest of the steps. 

But while you carted him down the corridor, found yourself in another dilemma as you could feel the eyes of the other inhabitants of the cell, and figured they needed an explanation to get them off your case.

“Sorry, uh, guys, food is going to be delayed for a little while, we have a bit of a—situation here.” You said quickly, feigning an accent and a mildly scared demeanor while you briskly went down the corridor.

Luckily for you, the worrying had been for naught as they all either grunted or completely ignored you. _Ah, they’ll be fine_ , you assured yourself. It was likely another meal was headed their ways soon enough anyways. 

It took a bit of time before you were able to make yourself out of the prison level of the station. The key card proved to be useful, unlocking several doors before you found the elevator, having taken an alternate route between the cells so you wouldn’t have to come face to face with any other guards. In the midst of searching you even found the perfect hiding spot for your comatose hostage, a shut down section of the level where the cells were broken, and set him down in the farthest one. There you took scraps of clothing you’d also taken from the delivery woman and tied him up, even fashioning a gag so he wouldn’t make any noise. 

Satisfied, you discarded the food cart, held you’re hat behind you in an attempt to keep it hidden and carefully stepped into the elevator.

Soon you would be out of this godforsaken place.


	4. 0.4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minor setbacks and you've made a friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took a little longer to do because, yes, I've started another lil something that I probably should've have. Keep an eye in the next few days for a short but juicy, maybe-slightly-angsty piece of work.

“Jenson, I swear to god if you don’t quit waving that paper in my face I’m going to shove my pistol so far down your throat you’re going to be shitting bullets for a week.” 

Coming from the mouth of the infamous Handsome Jack, it was a promise almost 100% likely to come to fruition if the man dressed in the crumpled uniform indeed didn’t stop pestering him about the forms. So he paused, considered the threat, and lowered the papers with a gulp. In retrospect, it was probably a bad idea to bother the CEO with anything work related as the man preferred to let everybody else do dive in with the elbow grease, but regardless of that it was an issue in desperate need of addressing. 

“But sir—”

“Don’t _‘But sir’_ me, Jensen. I already told you, whatever’s going on in accounting, I don’t want to deal with it, so figure it out by yourself goddammit. Now I’m going down to the holding levels to deal with another matter, and when I come back you better have a plan figured out or else you’re going to be facing my airlock, ya got that?” 

Jack didn’t need to look at the male beside him to see the fear present in that ugly, old face of his, he could feel it. Like a predatory animal he could sense when someone was holding off from pissing themselves, and frankly he found it amusing. It was one of the many perks of ruling with an iron first; just to sit back and watch everyone scramble around trying to please him.

“The holding levels?” Jensen asked, testing the patience of the boss he trailed. “What has to be done in the holding levels?” 

“Does it fucking matter? I said go and deal with whatever’s going down ya dipshit.”

Finally getting the message, the crumpled older male nodded and took off in the other direction, leaving a disgruntled Handsome Jack to be practically stomping through the halls as he made his way to the access elevator. 

When the doors opened, several people filed forward, forming a part in between them the moment their eyes landed on the broad figure that was their boss. Some gasped, others zipped up and made their way out. By the time Jack stepped inside there were only two other people in the elevator with him, a dirty man dressed in janitor’s clothes and a nervous looking female with her hands behind her back. 

She stood behind him, prompting a curious gaze once he noticed her and her noticeably tight apparel. It was a regular Hyperion uniform with the skirt, shirt and blazer, but the way it fit over her body shape, snug and curvaceous, it was almost something else entirely. But there was something else about her, something familiar, he just couldn’t quite put his finger on it. 

“Have we met before?” He asked, turning his head and causing her flicker her eyes rather urgently towards him, as if she had been trying very hard not to look at him. Of course, being who he was, he was used to that sort of thing. “I could swear I’ve seen you before, but I can’t recall every seeing you around here. Cute, though.” 

 

You could just kick yourself. Of all the times to get on this elevator—hell, of all _elevators_ to get onto you had to jump into the one Handsome Jack would walk into just at the cusp of your escape. Then again this was the only one that led from the holding cells, but still you cursed at the world for its sick sense of humor as he stepped inside, having attempted to merge with the flood of people but failing when he got in and pressed that stupid button rather unceremoniously. 

But being Handsome Jack, you didn’t expect him to put his own things on hold, so part of you wasn’t very surprised when he paid you and the Janitor no mind and put his own business forward, pausing either of your intentions to go anywhere until he was where he wanted to be. If anything, his selfish nature would actually prove to be helpful, as this gave you an excuse for not seeming so suspicious for going back down where you came up from. As soon as he was out of that elevator, though, you were going right back up and on your way to where you’d be on the next step of leaving. As long as he didn’t recognize you, this minor setback wasn’t going to affect the escape. 

Unfortunately, that aspect was becoming more real the longer the two of you spent in that elevator. 

“I’m, uh, new, sir.” You said, feigning the accent from earlier and avoiding his gaze. 

Jack made a considering face, taking a step farther into the elevator so he could face you without having to crane his neck so far. Beside him, the Janitor squished himself against a wall to make room for the other male, shoulders scrunched, and face unfearing but uncomfortable. 

“New, eh? What’s your gig?”

You willed yourself not to look like you didn’t know. “Server.” You lied, assuming the job of the woman whose clothes you stole. “For the prisoners. Not my primary function but a big part of it.” 

“Huh, I thought Leona was the server. Whaddaya, a replacement?”

Goddammit, of all people to know…

“Uhm, no, she still is the server.” You piped up, trying to mend your mess. “Management just thought because of—the growing number of prisoners, the job became one for two. So, I was hired.”

Jack was now turned nearly fully towards you, arms crossed and leaning a shoulder on the wall beside him. It was strange to be gazed at this way, totally different from the way he looked at you in your Pandoran gear. Almost like a snack. But then again, it wasn’t far from the way he looked at you then. Still, neither made you feel very great. And as it was, under the guise of a new employee, he seemed to be fixed on the thought of getting to know you for intentions you didn’t want to know about. He’d already commented on your appearance and seemed to be showing interest to what you were saying, so the theory proved to be more likely than you hoped. 

He smiled devilishly. “Well then I suppose I should go to management and tell them thanks for hiring such a pretty thing.”

Oh god. Your eyes flickered to the door and for the first time in your life you prayed, prayed this ride would soon be over.

As if on cue the elevator dinged, slowly opening to reveal the area in which you were almost desperate to get away from, especially now that Handsome Jack was there, no doubt to check the cell you were supposed to be in for another chat. As soon as those doors closed again you were going to have to double time your way to the hangers. You would only have a few minutes before Jack realized that he was being duped. 

“Ah dammit, I’m sorry cupcake I gotta go. We’ll continue this another time. Catch ya later sweet cheeks.” 

You shuddered as he turned away from you, having winked in your direction before heading into the corridor. Your finger was at the panel in an instant, ignoring the presence of the Janitor as you practically smashed the button that would get you away from there. 

Once the doors closed and the elevator started moving, though, the dirty male beside you decided to speak.

“A serving job split between two? You’re lucky Jack doesn’t like to mess around with any departments other than his own, cuz you’re full of crap.”

Your head whirled around, stepping away from the one who spoke up. “Well, I—I needed to think of _something_. As long as he doesn’t figure it out, I think I’m good.” You paused, considering the demeanor of this guy who didn’t seemed at all phased at the fact that you lied to the highest authority of Hyperion. “You—you’re not going to tell anyone, are you?”

The male smirked smugly, but shrugged a shoulder to indicate he meant no foul play. “Not quite my style, really. I gain nothing from messing with others. I'm just curious about it, which bring me to: who, or what are you, really? Don’t have many pretty ladies to be pretending to be something they’re not around here. You planning something against ole flirty over there?”

You bit your lip, not sure whether you wanted to tell him about your plan. “I dunno, if I tell you, how much can I really trust you not to yak on me.”

The man snorted, but lifted his hands in a calming motion to signify a compromise. “Okay okay, how about this, you tell me what you’re up to and not only will I not report you, but I’ll even help you pull it off. Sound good?”

You said nothing, studying him curiously.

“On my honor,” He offered, one of his hands extending to strike the deal.

“But—you don’t even know what I’m up to.”

He shrugged yet kept his hand up. "It still stands."

You thought for a moment. It wasn’t a good idea to trust this total stranger, but you didn’t have much choice. As a janitor he had all the knowledge and possibly access you needed to get out of Helios. As unwise as it was, it was the only thing you could have going for you. Besides, how much did you even have to lose? To let him help your or not you were already fucked and on a straight path to being fucked some more.

“Fine.” You said with an inward sigh, removing a hand from behind you to shake his. “But I don’t understand why you would offer the help to a complete stranger, risking not only your job but even your life with it.”

He shrugged. “Not like my life and my job are all that worth anything as they are. Could use some heart-pumping excitement right about now. Just—tell me what you’re doing is like that.”

You gave him a crooked smile, and from behind you held up the dark cobalt hat. “I’m the prisoner Jack went to the holding levels to see.”

“Ha!” The janitor squawked suddenly, prompting a giggle from you while he hooted and slapped a knee. “You’re kidding!”

You shrug with your own surprised expression. “I wish I was, but this how things turned out.”

“And Jack didn’t notice?”

“Clearly! I think he almost did but the ride wasn’t long enough for him to think about it.”

“So those clothes, are they—”

“Leona’s? Yeah. But don’t worry, she’s not hurt. Might wake up with a bit of a sore head later, but she’s fine.” 

The janitor made a considering face. “So, what’s the plan, then? The rest of it, I mean. How you gonna get your butt off the station, which is what I’m guessing you’re trying to do since you are a prisoner of Handsome Jack. I mean, in a situation like that I’d be in those shoes too.”

“Not entirely sure,” You admitted with a grin to his musings. “I was thinking along the lines of stealing a ship from the hanger bay, or even an escape pod. I don’t have anywhere to go but Pandora, so I guess I’m headed there but nothing’s finite in how.”

The janitor shook his head. “Neither of those is a good option unless you wanna be tracked. All ships and pods are on a monitoring system, as soon as an unauthorized liftoff is reported, you’re gonna be followed by the scruff of your tail all the way to where you land. Won’t even be much time to leave your ride before they blow you up.”

“So, what do you suggest I do? And we have to be quick because I don’t know how long I have before Jack realizes that the girl in my cell isn’t me.”

Just as the janitor opened his mouth to speak the elevator dinged, and his head turned to the opening doors. With a look that seemed as if he’d gotten an idea, a hand motioned for you to follow him when he stepped out the metal box the both of you inhabited. With an inward shrug you took off after him, following close behind.

“Every few days there is a supply ship that heads down to the Hyperion stations on Pandora. I don’t know what exactly they bring down, but every now and again they send someone like me to clean the ride up before they haul the cargo in. If you really want to get off this station you’re going to have to get smuggled in that cargo, and if all goes well, you could go on without a hitch.” 

You smiled at him. “Well look at you, Mr. Janitor, coming up with the plans.”

“Judah.” He corrected, offering his own grin as the two of you crossed what looked like a cafeteria. “My name is Judah.”

“Well, Judah the Janitor, sounds like a you’ve got some promising ideas. When is this supposed ship supposed to leave?”

“In about half an hour.”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't need this, I don't need more to put on my plate but I got this genius idea and I just have to go with it. I am so sorry Hyperion Heterochrome and Carpe Diem fans, but here have some filler stuff that can hopefully satiate you for now. I'm having problems extracting files from my old PC desk drive and I'm trying to work it out I promise. For now, though, just-- please enjoy :>


End file.
